She thought,' Could it be Santa?' As the noise grew closer, she nudged her sister. "Listen!" she whispered.
The other child, sleepily, opened her eyes. They ran to the window and then the noise stopped.......
They held their breath, their hearts thumping like drums. Quickly they jumped back into their bed.
WWW
ReplyDeleteThe opening paragraph is packed with imagery: similes & personification.
EBI
Perhaps the ending could use suspense to hook the reader into carrying on...
Who or what had landed on the roof?
Thump, thump, thump... someone or something was coming down the chimney!