Thursday, 12 December 2013

100 WC Week 1 - Mystery Visitor

Like streaks of silver the moon beams shone down, illuminating the snowy garden. Inside the house the children snuggled together in their bed, as warm as toast. Downstairs the fire danced and flickered, casting shadows across the room. One child awoke to the distant sound of sleigh bells.

She thought,' Could it be Santa?' As the noise grew closer, she nudged her sister. "Listen!" she whispered.

The other child, sleepily, opened her eyes. They ran to the window and then the noise stopped.......
They held their breath, their hearts thumping like drums. Quickly they jumped back into their bed.



1 comment:

  1. WWW
    The opening paragraph is packed with imagery: similes & personification.

    EBI
    Perhaps the ending could use suspense to hook the reader into carrying on...
    Who or what had landed on the roof?
    Thump, thump, thump... someone or something was coming down the chimney!

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